Mother Wife

Yeah. I too have become a mother. The child in me is quite amused by my decision to become a mother. But here I am with an infant in my arms and life has become beautiful once again. 

I wanted to have a baby because I thought that's how I will leave the love me and A share.  However random that may sound. 

Firsts she came out breaking all old wives tales of how I will have a boy.  So a double surprise on Jan 31. 

Second she made me realise that having her doesn't make me any less of a wife. In fact I have grown fonder towards A and as a fuel to the fire me being at mum's place and seeing him once a week is only drawing us closer. 

I still would like to prioritise my husband and not ignore him in the name of attending to baby. I have seen it happening with my parents as well as my fellow mommies cribbing about husbands. 

To me the essence of motherhood is a decision made by two and is to honour the bond the two share.  I  sure that there will be times when attending to baby might make me exhausted that Iau feet about lack if help from A bit I pray and tell myself that I should never forget why we chose to have a family.  And that family shouldn't throw the couple in us. 

This post is more a auto suggestion than a comment or critique.  I am sure the journey is going to be tough. But if I keep telling and reminding myself the real reason behind this I would be more aware and alert on how I deal with adversities and temporary obstacles. 

Cheers to motherhood and double cheers to wife-hood. 😊😁

Ramblings...

It has been almost half a year since I posted.  I am shocked.  Thanks to my colleague that I woke up and got a reason to write again.


Past 2 weeks has been a lot of reflection - hence very intense.  


What I wanted to share now is something that has been bothering me for a very long time now.  I had been very elusive about these thoughts in my mind - more-so because not many people around me appreciated or considered that it was a 'normal' thought process.


So what bothers me?


1.  Why do people lack trust?  A common trustworthiness you could entertain with another just because he / she is a human and not because of any other reason.  I should not talk to an auto driver unnecessarily cos I may get into trouble?!  I can't greet a stranger in my train boogie cos train robbery is a known thing.  




2. Why is this generation living in fear?  Fear of being attacked, cheated, ignored, robbed, hit.  Are we all animals?  




3.  Why should one be always told what he / she has to do?  Why can't people take initiative and do what is their own duty?




4.  Why can't people forgive?  




5.  Why can't we accept each other and treat one another as equals instead of doing power plays and exercising egos?




6.  Why can't we love for love sake?  Why is it always a trade?




7.  Why aren't we taught to / encouraged to renounce?  Why should we always hoard things for ourselves, our family?  Why can't we give up something for a larger cause?


8.  Why little pleasures like smoking, drinking, are so important for us despite knowing it is going to be short-lived?




9.  Why do we think we are overkilling ourselves or being extra super great when we live a dutiful life?  Dutiful in terms of doing one's duty, be clean physically and mentally.  Why do those dutiful people think they are doing something great while there is so much more to achieve?


10.  Why when I question myself and others on all these issues I am being perceived as someone being over critical or hung up in life?  Why am I classified as perfectionist or idealist?  Why am I banned to expect these qualities in my fellow men? 


If these are all 'saint'ly qualities, then may be it is high time I claim myself one!  That way I get to live my life the way I want and nobody would question me, eh?

Wedding!

It could become a

Roller coaster or

A cruise;

For now, I feel,

Getting married is

Awesome!

:)   

Revelations!

I watched this movie last night “PS: I Love You”. There were many revelations through that movie. But what is forcing me to write this post is what I learnt about being ‘open’. To come to this point I am going to run through and beat around the bushes (the way gals usually do!).

The environment I had been so far is the one where only the Indian culture is being valued. It had instilled in my head that only India has some value system and ethics and such words. But what I learnt yesterday is to appreciate that, values and ethics and principles exist in every culture. Since every culture is so different and unique it does not get through to other cultures.

There had been times when I thought I should preserve my customs and rituals. I grew to learn that I should be tolerant to other views and opinions. Now I have grown to appreciate and accept others and that include their belief systems, ethics, code of conduct and much more that make the person.

A specific thing about this movie is where Holly tries to find, The thing, and a new love that can replace her grief of losing Jerry. The way she comes out of her grief is by trial testing and eliminating the possibilities of the replacements until she tries to find happiness from inside. The earlier me would have been sceptical and passing moral judgements on her behaviour. But now, in the new me, I realise and appreciate that people are indeed different. Cultures and values are unique. After all, these words and their meanings, originate from a group of people who would have thought that this would help a human being to lead a life that makes him happy and not disrupt his ecosystem, as well, isn’t it?

Off late, I realise that I am just able to connect to any human being just because I appreciate for who she or he is. There is a natural will to know someone who is around and believe that he or she does have something unique to tell me and enrich my life. This feeling is just great and I hope that this is not just a feeling but a realisation coming out of living with many great souls around me.

Openness is more than tolerance. Openness is acceptance – for things as they are, for people who they are. Further, openness is, believing that each and every person is worth of something!

Nevertheless, this feeling is great. Understanding oneness in so many different ways is really incredible. Time and again I’m reminded that we are all ONE!

We all are in a pursuit to be happy and bring happiness to others!
We need peace.
We need money.
We need satisfaction.
We need love.
We need laugh.
We need shoulders.
We need each other.
Because,
We are all One!

Relationships - Part 2!

Yes! I am going to talk about relationships yet again.

I wish that relationships be non-demanding. Or, when there is a demand, let there be flexibility as well. Flexibility eases out the situation and ensures that the demand is met in the best possible way!

After all, we need relationships, don't we?! Then, what is the point of losing the fun by being too much demanding and not allowing relaxations whereby feelings and hence the relationships are severed?!

Reflections during Vacation 2010!

1. My mood does not change, unless I want it to change.
2. Nothing can get worse, until 'I' expect the worst!
3. Every problem does have solution(s). Various factors affect the type of solution I derive for that problem: my mood, what and how I expect the problem to be resolved, to a certain extent, my wit as well! What I mean is, everyone does find a solution! How applicable is my solution to my situation, I need wit to resolve that! (I use wit to imply intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, and all such words!)
4. At 25, I can still be wondering, what the heck I want out of my life?!
5. When I really want to do a task, I will do it! When I don't want to do a task, no matter how many ever opportunities are given to me for its completion, I will not do it! (Well, I want to emphasize the latter point!!)
6. When I write 'my' reflection, I should use 'I' instead of 'you/your'. (Yes!, I changed all you/your to I/my, from 1 to 5 after I wrote 6!!!)
7. If I don't want to take responsibility, I will not. This is different from 5 because, this is at the cognitive/affective domain level while doing is at the behavioural level.
8. I should take a break, when I feel like. Culmination of the want to take a break, sticks me out and it takes almost half the break-time to stick out that stickiness!
9. Conveying my love to my far-off love is lovely! But, at times, loving and not conveying all of it is bliss! (ooh! A tough one for the first person language! ;) )
10. Becoming friends with a 1.5 yr old is awesome! :D And, the 1.5 yr old can teach you to love, like none! (This is no stats! Just that I am friends with my nephew who is 1.5 yrs old!)
11. Using shorter sentences conveys sweet messages. (I wrote all of them, over and over, again and again to be shorter!!!!)
12. After a point, writing in brief, becomes a habit!
13. Plan the vacation well-ahead for a well-spent vacation. Else, have common sense to follow time's stride and make it favourable for the self!
14. Set the automatic vacation responder! Prevents guilt of indifference-to-emails. Note: Write/Articulate the response so that the receiver understands the reason for it to be on!


Will continue, if any!

PS: Proof reading is a must before publishing (does that tell how updated this reflection note is?!)

Relationships

"Hatred is love without facts. Can our minds be changed if we knew a few facts about the things we hate?"

I want to write about relationships today. How much value does a human being place on this thing called relationship! All of us want to be a part of one thing or the other. The sense of belongingness to a certain group, community and owning something or somebody... these I think are the reasons that we seek relationships.

Strangely for some of us relationship does not necessarily be with human beings... we also tend to make relationships with inanimate things. And we strive very hard to hold onto something and get the feeling of belongingness.

This stage of our life (for people of my age), usually is characterised by the establishment of family-especially the spouse. And not all of us have had good love relationships. It has always been a period of stress, sadness, pain and gloom.

While human beings are empowered to achieve things which never existed, love has been something that is still a mystery! Man finds it too difficult to understand it, possess it, and enjoy it. No matter what, a slip in love life makes a man feel deprived, powerless, incomplete, unhappy and lifeless! While lag in other relationships are made up for through perks, wealth, power or other things, love relationship leaves behind a deep scar which is irreversible, irrevocable, and irreplaceable. While these are the best part of love, they are also the sad part of it. Those who are able to conquer their love feel elated and the others are left with the scar as an accident.

While this has been something I get so upset about-the love failures-I attempt to understand what this love is all about. In a sense this can be extended to the concept of relationships as well. I see that every single thing that you and I do is for utmost selfishness – just and just for my (your) sake. It is just because I want to be happy, I want to be secure, I want to have support, I want to live, I want to be comforted, that I get into love and hence relationships. May be that is the reason ‘I’ get smashed when the person I love dump me! My hope, my dream, my sense of security, my wishes, everything that I have bestowed upon that ONE person, is destroyed in no time just because the ONE did not reciprocate.

Also, how difficult it becomes for each of us to accept the other person unconditionally, just as they are. Though at one level we all seek to belong to someone, there is internal discord which is difficult to set right and does not give the sense of belongingness. Establishing relationship is a challenge but more than that maintaining a relationship becomes yet more difficult.

I have read somewhere about spirituality where the different human forms are perceived as different manifestations of a Single Soul. So there in reality lives just one Being. A naive illustration to explain the point: While ‘I’ represent the exercise of will to experience Love, ‘you’ might represent the exercise of will to attain Success. All ‘forms’, work towards the goal of the Single being. This seems to be a comfortable Philosophy to follow for me: maintaining relationships become much easier when I see you as the manifestation of a different me!

It also gives me the ability to empathise with you. See it from your point of view. Stand in your shoes. Now I am holding onto Spirituality to support me!

Relationships: they define them all! What more to say?!

Love yourself!

It has been really a long time since I posted anything on the blog. Now, I make time to make blogging more regular.

Today's post is a bit interesting and close to my heart!

How happy do I become if I make or attempt to make someone else happy, someone else smile?!

Nothing else pleases me or delights me as much as making someone feel good about themselves. In this sense, I really appreciate my decision of shifting to a discipline where I have got to interact with people!

To further this expedition, towards a logical conclusion, I have decided that I would put all my ramblings about psychology in the blog. I intend to post learnings of psychological concepts in this blog. So any psychologist out there is going to visit my blog, kindly forgive the errors and correct my errands. My attempt is to assimilte my learnings and channelise my future efforts.

Hope I stick to this commitment.

Well to justify the headline of my post, Love yourself! is such a phrase which I love to share with people I know. It is when I started to love myself, that my outlook of the whole world changed.

I have learnt that when I start to love myself, I can easily empathise with anyone else. It is so important due to the following reasons. I know all my fallacies, dark secrets, positives, strengths, weakness, many unsaid, not-demonstrated, aspects of myself. When I develop the ability to love myself, inspite of all these minuses, nothing seems imperfect outside!

Everything looks lovelier, charming, better, in one way or the other. I am sure to find wrongs outside; but I have grown to see beyond those negatives, beyond appearances, more than what is explicit.

I bet it comes after a huge effort! Loving myself has empowered me to empathise with others easily. To get into the shoes of other person and view the situation from their point of view. It becomes much more easier to realise and accept that people are no all-perfect! It helps build relationships, keep them and appreciate them as well!

It helps me connect with other human being. While earlier it needed a lot of effort, the more I grew in touch with myself, the more natural it became to understand the other person.

I forgive myself when I wrong, so forgiving someone else is lot more easier!

I Love myself so that I can live love!

Happy! :)