Mother Wife

Yeah. I too have become a mother. The child in me is quite amused by my decision to become a mother. But here I am with an infant in my arms and life has become beautiful once again. 

I wanted to have a baby because I thought that's how I will leave the love me and A share.  However random that may sound. 

Firsts she came out breaking all old wives tales of how I will have a boy.  So a double surprise on Jan 31. 

Second she made me realise that having her doesn't make me any less of a wife. In fact I have grown fonder towards A and as a fuel to the fire me being at mum's place and seeing him once a week is only drawing us closer. 

I still would like to prioritise my husband and not ignore him in the name of attending to baby. I have seen it happening with my parents as well as my fellow mommies cribbing about husbands. 

To me the essence of motherhood is a decision made by two and is to honour the bond the two share.  I  sure that there will be times when attending to baby might make me exhausted that Iau feet about lack if help from A bit I pray and tell myself that I should never forget why we chose to have a family.  And that family shouldn't throw the couple in us. 

This post is more a auto suggestion than a comment or critique.  I am sure the journey is going to be tough. But if I keep telling and reminding myself the real reason behind this I would be more aware and alert on how I deal with adversities and temporary obstacles. 

Cheers to motherhood and double cheers to wife-hood. 😊😁

Changes

A very profound question at this hour of the night. As such I am going through millions of emotions with my hormonal changes. And these late night musings I get is only disturbing than enlightening.  

I was just contemplating on permanence and presence or absence of people around me.  The idea of independence is so enticing for a young mind that loss doesn't seem to be affecting. Want to be free, on my own, away, love life on my own terms - all these phrases suddenly seem to be of no value whatsoever. 

Just because you know things are not permanent do you stop attaching yourself to them? Or do you take each moment and live it up that you would cherish these memories for ever?  How do you prepare yourself to deal with loss?  Can you even prepare like that? 

Crazy! These questions never cease to go off my head and have had some significant influence in the decisions I have made and will make in my life.  

Leaving now with this thought and question. Loss and impermanence - how do you deal with them? Oh mind, learn please.