Ramblings...

It has been almost half a year since I posted.  I am shocked.  Thanks to my colleague that I woke up and got a reason to write again.


Past 2 weeks has been a lot of reflection - hence very intense.  


What I wanted to share now is something that has been bothering me for a very long time now.  I had been very elusive about these thoughts in my mind - more-so because not many people around me appreciated or considered that it was a 'normal' thought process.


So what bothers me?


1.  Why do people lack trust?  A common trustworthiness you could entertain with another just because he / she is a human and not because of any other reason.  I should not talk to an auto driver unnecessarily cos I may get into trouble?!  I can't greet a stranger in my train boogie cos train robbery is a known thing.  




2. Why is this generation living in fear?  Fear of being attacked, cheated, ignored, robbed, hit.  Are we all animals?  




3.  Why should one be always told what he / she has to do?  Why can't people take initiative and do what is their own duty?




4.  Why can't people forgive?  




5.  Why can't we accept each other and treat one another as equals instead of doing power plays and exercising egos?




6.  Why can't we love for love sake?  Why is it always a trade?




7.  Why aren't we taught to / encouraged to renounce?  Why should we always hoard things for ourselves, our family?  Why can't we give up something for a larger cause?


8.  Why little pleasures like smoking, drinking, are so important for us despite knowing it is going to be short-lived?




9.  Why do we think we are overkilling ourselves or being extra super great when we live a dutiful life?  Dutiful in terms of doing one's duty, be clean physically and mentally.  Why do those dutiful people think they are doing something great while there is so much more to achieve?


10.  Why when I question myself and others on all these issues I am being perceived as someone being over critical or hung up in life?  Why am I classified as perfectionist or idealist?  Why am I banned to expect these qualities in my fellow men? 


If these are all 'saint'ly qualities, then may be it is high time I claim myself one!  That way I get to live my life the way I want and nobody would question me, eh?

Enough is enough!

Have you come across all these guys who bull**** about women being the 'only'-dishonest-and-untrustworthy-species?

I have had enough of them now.

Now guys, come on, grow up.  Show some spine and see how trustworthy your girls become.  You lose the spine, don't stand up for a cause, wander aimlessly, show attitude, keep flirting with all the girls in the world after getting hooked and behave like perverts well after your old age... and expect girls to be honest with you and trustworthy?  Well, better luck some other time!

Stop accusing others when there is a lot to wipe off your back. It is not 'funny' anymore!

Mediocrity sucks!

Mediocrity.  Wherever I go, everything I see is mediocre.  Excellence looks like a thing of past.


The vegetable vendor has vegetables that are not real fresh, the service is average.  The customer care support, are not efficient.  They put you on hold for every query you have to clarify from some team of theirs; illustration: to know if a battery is available or not, you gotta wait for 30 minutes on phone! 

No, this is no blame game.  I include myself in this list of mediocrity.  When everyone is following the path of being mediocre, any cry about making it 'right' or doing the best is not considered at all.

A mediocre life sucks.  There is no motivation, there is no achievement, there is no satisfaction and it so damn boring.

Now I lead a life of a mediocre.  I do things somehow so that it is DONE.  There is no passion or joy in doing things.

I do not want to be a mediocre, anymore.  I want to do as many things as I can, in a way that is, as best as I could do.  I want to live my life to the fullest without any fear and inhibition.  I want to love unconditionally and let love flow to me, break-free.  I want to excel, in all the tasks I do and keep aspiring for excellence. 

I want to stop doing things for the heck of doing it.  I want to do things, only those, which I think I need to do.  Isn't that a nicer way to lead a life?  Comments?

Death or a New Life?

I just happened to read this post in Yahoo! 

Though there is grievance and loss in a loved ones' death, some overcome the pain by Doing something that brings meaning to the life that was lost.  In a way, death actually gives birth to something new as if recreating itself into another form.

Is mourning then more an act of living the life of the lost one through yours and fulfilling their dreams and wishes?   

Attention!

I am doing a task with so much involvement.  There comes one flash.  All the focus is dispersed. I just cannot continue to focus on that task, forget completing it.  I tend to take up breaks at regular intervals to charge up my brain and continue with the task I was pursuing.

I wonder if this is the case with all adults in general or is it only with me.  I am just unable to keep at one task for a considerable amount of time, no matter if there is dearth of time, someone is waiting, it is of utmost urgency, whatever; if I need a break, I just need it!

I just can't understand what this is.  It is not that I do not care about completing it, but it is just that I am unable to focus on it any longer.  I take a break from it till I forget about it, then, I again jump on the task and do it much better.

Is there a clear explanation of this phenomenon?  Should I worry if it is good or bad?

I try to explain.  I think I just need that constant rush of blood for me to be awake and keep at a task.  If that rush is reduced, gone! I am sick of that task and I look of re-pumping my blood through some other activity.

That's how this blog came up.  I was bored of something I was doing.  Had to do something else.  Here it is.  A blog post.

Blood re-pumped.  Gotta catch up with the deadline. Bye!

Sooo full of life!

Life is too full now. So many things happening, many just-not-happening! But, I am living my life to the fullest - full of bliss, full of motivation, full with passion, full of search, full with anger, full of satisfaction, full with pride, full with greed, full of responsibility, full of aspirations, full of disappointments, soo very full, all at one time!

Cup has become too heavy. Need to unwind, relax, and take life more simpler.

Moving from one phase of life to another is rewarding cos you are learning. However, a few lessons are learnt in a hard way. Some lessons make you more strong, some make you regret acts of your past, some confuse you, some shock you, some surprise you and some disappoint you.

You know that you are not the only one to go through this but at the same time you have to go through this. You begin to empathise with the ones who have gone through this!

Amidst all this, finding an equilibrium is what I think is the art of living.

Trying hard to practise this. Not without paying the cost for it. All in all, life now is sooo.... very.... full...!

It IS...

it is tough to,

be a beginner with humility,
zip your mouth forcibly,


it is a pain when,

past haunts current appraisals,
emotion overpowers rationality,irrationally (!),


it is injustice to,

be a man of double nature,
generalise an event to a life,


it takes courage to,

own responsibility during failure,
say 'No' when need be,
let others develop through you,
stand up for yourself,


it is wise to,

be your own Master,
persuade /justify to only one's own Conscience...
(nothing less, nothing more!)


it is human to,

respect a fellow being for one's own sake,
err, learn and apply in future.

I have answers!

For all the pointing fingers,
for all the blames,
for all the regrets,
for all the hard work,

for all the loss,
for all the sacrifice,
for all the pain,
for all the indifference,

sooner or later,
i will present the answers!
(not to be read as "PROUD")

I will present 'em,
'cause,
in me,
I trust!

Reflections during Vacation 2010!

1. My mood does not change, unless I want it to change.
2. Nothing can get worse, until 'I' expect the worst!
3. Every problem does have solution(s). Various factors affect the type of solution I derive for that problem: my mood, what and how I expect the problem to be resolved, to a certain extent, my wit as well! What I mean is, everyone does find a solution! How applicable is my solution to my situation, I need wit to resolve that! (I use wit to imply intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, and all such words!)
4. At 25, I can still be wondering, what the heck I want out of my life?!
5. When I really want to do a task, I will do it! When I don't want to do a task, no matter how many ever opportunities are given to me for its completion, I will not do it! (Well, I want to emphasize the latter point!!)
6. When I write 'my' reflection, I should use 'I' instead of 'you/your'. (Yes!, I changed all you/your to I/my, from 1 to 5 after I wrote 6!!!)
7. If I don't want to take responsibility, I will not. This is different from 5 because, this is at the cognitive/affective domain level while doing is at the behavioural level.
8. I should take a break, when I feel like. Culmination of the want to take a break, sticks me out and it takes almost half the break-time to stick out that stickiness!
9. Conveying my love to my far-off love is lovely! But, at times, loving and not conveying all of it is bliss! (ooh! A tough one for the first person language! ;) )
10. Becoming friends with a 1.5 yr old is awesome! :D And, the 1.5 yr old can teach you to love, like none! (This is no stats! Just that I am friends with my nephew who is 1.5 yrs old!)
11. Using shorter sentences conveys sweet messages. (I wrote all of them, over and over, again and again to be shorter!!!!)
12. After a point, writing in brief, becomes a habit!
13. Plan the vacation well-ahead for a well-spent vacation. Else, have common sense to follow time's stride and make it favourable for the self!
14. Set the automatic vacation responder! Prevents guilt of indifference-to-emails. Note: Write/Articulate the response so that the receiver understands the reason for it to be on!


Will continue, if any!

PS: Proof reading is a must before publishing (does that tell how updated this reflection note is?!)