Enough is enough!

Have you come across all these guys who bull**** about women being the 'only'-dishonest-and-untrustworthy-species?

I have had enough of them now.

Now guys, come on, grow up.  Show some spine and see how trustworthy your girls become.  You lose the spine, don't stand up for a cause, wander aimlessly, show attitude, keep flirting with all the girls in the world after getting hooked and behave like perverts well after your old age... and expect girls to be honest with you and trustworthy?  Well, better luck some other time!

Stop accusing others when there is a lot to wipe off your back. It is not 'funny' anymore!

Mediocrity sucks!

Mediocrity.  Wherever I go, everything I see is mediocre.  Excellence looks like a thing of past.


The vegetable vendor has vegetables that are not real fresh, the service is average.  The customer care support, are not efficient.  They put you on hold for every query you have to clarify from some team of theirs; illustration: to know if a battery is available or not, you gotta wait for 30 minutes on phone! 

No, this is no blame game.  I include myself in this list of mediocrity.  When everyone is following the path of being mediocre, any cry about making it 'right' or doing the best is not considered at all.

A mediocre life sucks.  There is no motivation, there is no achievement, there is no satisfaction and it so damn boring.

Now I lead a life of a mediocre.  I do things somehow so that it is DONE.  There is no passion or joy in doing things.

I do not want to be a mediocre, anymore.  I want to do as many things as I can, in a way that is, as best as I could do.  I want to live my life to the fullest without any fear and inhibition.  I want to love unconditionally and let love flow to me, break-free.  I want to excel, in all the tasks I do and keep aspiring for excellence. 

I want to stop doing things for the heck of doing it.  I want to do things, only those, which I think I need to do.  Isn't that a nicer way to lead a life?  Comments?

Death or a New Life?

I just happened to read this post in Yahoo! 

Though there is grievance and loss in a loved ones' death, some overcome the pain by Doing something that brings meaning to the life that was lost.  In a way, death actually gives birth to something new as if recreating itself into another form.

Is mourning then more an act of living the life of the lost one through yours and fulfilling their dreams and wishes?   

Wedding!

It could become a

Roller coaster or

A cruise;

For now, I feel,

Getting married is

Awesome!

:)   

Mess!

Copied from

Attention!

I am doing a task with so much involvement.  There comes one flash.  All the focus is dispersed. I just cannot continue to focus on that task, forget completing it.  I tend to take up breaks at regular intervals to charge up my brain and continue with the task I was pursuing.

I wonder if this is the case with all adults in general or is it only with me.  I am just unable to keep at one task for a considerable amount of time, no matter if there is dearth of time, someone is waiting, it is of utmost urgency, whatever; if I need a break, I just need it!

I just can't understand what this is.  It is not that I do not care about completing it, but it is just that I am unable to focus on it any longer.  I take a break from it till I forget about it, then, I again jump on the task and do it much better.

Is there a clear explanation of this phenomenon?  Should I worry if it is good or bad?

I try to explain.  I think I just need that constant rush of blood for me to be awake and keep at a task.  If that rush is reduced, gone! I am sick of that task and I look of re-pumping my blood through some other activity.

That's how this blog came up.  I was bored of something I was doing.  Had to do something else.  Here it is.  A blog post.

Blood re-pumped.  Gotta catch up with the deadline. Bye!

Reason?

I had been thinking about this for a while now. There are these various jobs which are available in this world. Some have the liberty to choose a job they want to do, some are forced to choose, some just land up in that job, some just wait to get away from a job.

I am in a profession where the practise is to help people exercise their free will to choose a job and pursue it. So among these 100 of jobs, people choose to do a job based on what they are capable of doing and what they want to do...

The jobs are created based on the needs of the society. One of the key needs is that of cleaning. That would include cleaning the public places and at some levels we need people who can attend to the waste in individual houses/apartments.

Now will someone want to choose this as their job? Those people who are currently working as cleaners, would they continue to do their job if another option with equivalent pay is offered to them?

Dignity of labour is just not practised in our country. Agreed! But what would be a reason for an individual to take up his / her job as a cleaner? What level of free will would some one exercise to choose this as a profession amongst others?

Any reasons out there?

Sooo full of life!

Life is too full now. So many things happening, many just-not-happening! But, I am living my life to the fullest - full of bliss, full of motivation, full with passion, full of search, full with anger, full of satisfaction, full with pride, full with greed, full of responsibility, full of aspirations, full of disappointments, soo very full, all at one time!

Cup has become too heavy. Need to unwind, relax, and take life more simpler.

Moving from one phase of life to another is rewarding cos you are learning. However, a few lessons are learnt in a hard way. Some lessons make you more strong, some make you regret acts of your past, some confuse you, some shock you, some surprise you and some disappoint you.

You know that you are not the only one to go through this but at the same time you have to go through this. You begin to empathise with the ones who have gone through this!

Amidst all this, finding an equilibrium is what I think is the art of living.

Trying hard to practise this. Not without paying the cost for it. All in all, life now is sooo.... very.... full...!

Disgust

It is very hard for something or someone to evoke this feeling - Disgust. But off late, the shopping areas seem to be full of people who can easily make you feel disgusted!

There are many creeps out in the markets who come there not to shop but to take some pleasure out of teasing other people - verbally and/or physically!

I have become skeptical about every male around me. It seems to me that there is just one thought in their minds - How to derive pleasure without being caught! Some seem to have born with that trait and some seem to acquire training to master it!

Mambalam area - the shopper's area - is just full of creeps and filth - in human form! Their deeds, mind and whole existence seems to have been made out of filth!

Every single time I cross the market area, I have to be extra alert and cautious; think of new ways to slip through the crowd and escape its vulgar brushes. There comes a point where one loses the courage to walk without a male counterpart who can escort you through that crowd and pull you out from there. (Yeah, some of the Men understand the pain because that woman is somehow related to him!).

This is so damn shameful! Losing the Freedom to be independent!

What I don't understand is why are these men so obsessed with 'other' women? Or why is woman looked at as an object of pleasure? I am badly avoiding the urge to write a sentence that would read, "I hate men"!

All this finally boils down to a point where one human does not have any respect for the other. Moreso, no respect for one's own self!

I am unable to think of any other reason for this disgusting behaviour demonstrated in the public.

We have to rethink on what the words - Values and Ethos - stand for us and redefine the way of life. People are selfish, mean, competitive (read as crushing the number one to death to secure that position), corrupt, jealous.

The things that were once intuitively guiding our way of life has to be taught now. The situation is such that there are Acts to ensure our behaviour aligns with the expected norms.

Where are those days when India was called the Land of Spirituality and Intellect? Where is that Indian spirit, my countrymen?

'Be a Man!', people say! I thought it means being responsible, sensible, sensitive, courageous, protective, courteous... Where are you, Men?

Revelations!

I watched this movie last night “PS: I Love You”. There were many revelations through that movie. But what is forcing me to write this post is what I learnt about being ‘open’. To come to this point I am going to run through and beat around the bushes (the way gals usually do!).

The environment I had been so far is the one where only the Indian culture is being valued. It had instilled in my head that only India has some value system and ethics and such words. But what I learnt yesterday is to appreciate that, values and ethics and principles exist in every culture. Since every culture is so different and unique it does not get through to other cultures.

There had been times when I thought I should preserve my customs and rituals. I grew to learn that I should be tolerant to other views and opinions. Now I have grown to appreciate and accept others and that include their belief systems, ethics, code of conduct and much more that make the person.

A specific thing about this movie is where Holly tries to find, The thing, and a new love that can replace her grief of losing Jerry. The way she comes out of her grief is by trial testing and eliminating the possibilities of the replacements until she tries to find happiness from inside. The earlier me would have been sceptical and passing moral judgements on her behaviour. But now, in the new me, I realise and appreciate that people are indeed different. Cultures and values are unique. After all, these words and their meanings, originate from a group of people who would have thought that this would help a human being to lead a life that makes him happy and not disrupt his ecosystem, as well, isn’t it?

Off late, I realise that I am just able to connect to any human being just because I appreciate for who she or he is. There is a natural will to know someone who is around and believe that he or she does have something unique to tell me and enrich my life. This feeling is just great and I hope that this is not just a feeling but a realisation coming out of living with many great souls around me.

Openness is more than tolerance. Openness is acceptance – for things as they are, for people who they are. Further, openness is, believing that each and every person is worth of something!

Nevertheless, this feeling is great. Understanding oneness in so many different ways is really incredible. Time and again I’m reminded that we are all ONE!

We all are in a pursuit to be happy and bring happiness to others!
We need peace.
We need money.
We need satisfaction.
We need love.
We need laugh.
We need shoulders.
We need each other.
Because,
We are all One!

Relationships - Part 2!

Yes! I am going to talk about relationships yet again.

I wish that relationships be non-demanding. Or, when there is a demand, let there be flexibility as well. Flexibility eases out the situation and ensures that the demand is met in the best possible way!

After all, we need relationships, don't we?! Then, what is the point of losing the fun by being too much demanding and not allowing relaxations whereby feelings and hence the relationships are severed?!

It IS...

it is tough to,

be a beginner with humility,
zip your mouth forcibly,


it is a pain when,

past haunts current appraisals,
emotion overpowers rationality,irrationally (!),


it is injustice to,

be a man of double nature,
generalise an event to a life,


it takes courage to,

own responsibility during failure,
say 'No' when need be,
let others develop through you,
stand up for yourself,


it is wise to,

be your own Master,
persuade /justify to only one's own Conscience...
(nothing less, nothing more!)


it is human to,

respect a fellow being for one's own sake,
err, learn and apply in future.

I have answers!

For all the pointing fingers,
for all the blames,
for all the regrets,
for all the hard work,

for all the loss,
for all the sacrifice,
for all the pain,
for all the indifference,

sooner or later,
i will present the answers!
(not to be read as "PROUD")

I will present 'em,
'cause,
in me,
I trust!

Reflections during Vacation 2010!

1. My mood does not change, unless I want it to change.
2. Nothing can get worse, until 'I' expect the worst!
3. Every problem does have solution(s). Various factors affect the type of solution I derive for that problem: my mood, what and how I expect the problem to be resolved, to a certain extent, my wit as well! What I mean is, everyone does find a solution! How applicable is my solution to my situation, I need wit to resolve that! (I use wit to imply intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, and all such words!)
4. At 25, I can still be wondering, what the heck I want out of my life?!
5. When I really want to do a task, I will do it! When I don't want to do a task, no matter how many ever opportunities are given to me for its completion, I will not do it! (Well, I want to emphasize the latter point!!)
6. When I write 'my' reflection, I should use 'I' instead of 'you/your'. (Yes!, I changed all you/your to I/my, from 1 to 5 after I wrote 6!!!)
7. If I don't want to take responsibility, I will not. This is different from 5 because, this is at the cognitive/affective domain level while doing is at the behavioural level.
8. I should take a break, when I feel like. Culmination of the want to take a break, sticks me out and it takes almost half the break-time to stick out that stickiness!
9. Conveying my love to my far-off love is lovely! But, at times, loving and not conveying all of it is bliss! (ooh! A tough one for the first person language! ;) )
10. Becoming friends with a 1.5 yr old is awesome! :D And, the 1.5 yr old can teach you to love, like none! (This is no stats! Just that I am friends with my nephew who is 1.5 yrs old!)
11. Using shorter sentences conveys sweet messages. (I wrote all of them, over and over, again and again to be shorter!!!!)
12. After a point, writing in brief, becomes a habit!
13. Plan the vacation well-ahead for a well-spent vacation. Else, have common sense to follow time's stride and make it favourable for the self!
14. Set the automatic vacation responder! Prevents guilt of indifference-to-emails. Note: Write/Articulate the response so that the receiver understands the reason for it to be on!


Will continue, if any!

PS: Proof reading is a must before publishing (does that tell how updated this reflection note is?!)

The People Pleaser!

How difficult it is to please everyone! At many a time I thought I should try to be ‘nice’ to people around me. I try to do stuff so that I ‘look’ nice to them. However, not many times I am able to do it.

When I break away from my ‘looks’ I get dirty looks back! :( That is fine!

I have grown now to think a lot of about my life and my future plans. Accommodating all pals around is simply becoming impossible. At times it breaks their heart. But I am just not able to help it. I try not to cause it. It happened twice in a row, now. But yeah! I am in a phase where I should set my priorities right!

I also realise that if someone cannot understand the position I am in, and expect only me to be accommodative, it is really not gonna work!

From being a people pleaser, now I have started to stand up for my own needs. I speak that most difficult word, ‘No!’. I say no just because I am seriously not able to. It feels good, when I am able to say a No when I want to!

Stopped being a people pleaser. Lets check out how many people are pleased with this ME! :)

Outdoorsy...Me? Nah..!

This is what I found out in the recent trip I had! I went out for a one day trip with my colleagues. We visited Gaganachukki-Barachukki falls and Thalakkad! Though I was so hyped about the whole trip, towards the end of the day, I just said, Oh! God, when will I return home?!

I don't say the trip was bad. It was really good. Especially the boating that we did at Barachukki was simply awesome! The boat-rider took us as close to the falls as possible! We were enjoying the soft refreshing shower from the waterfall... below us was Cauvery, 70ft deep and four of us, entrusted our lives to the boat-rider!!

It was awesome, in its true sense! Get the glimpse of the falls here... We went to the tip of the waterfall and I captured this image on the way back! I enjoyed every moment of it!

Then we went to Thalakkad.. to explore Alamelamma's curse! I was fully prepared for the trip. I searched the whole of internet and learnt the story of Curse of Thalakkad. However exciting and masal(a)enious the story was, I could not really believe such thing. The skeptic inside me posed a question as to how this could happen and what is the science behind this? The question was kind of answered when I read this post on the internet. In this sense, you could see how well-prepared I was for the trip! Apparently, I missed out to learn that my fellow members were not as informed as I was!

Whatever I had learnt, I kept to myself and I expedited to uncover more tales and to see how much of what I read from various posts and the quoted article is true! While my colleagues were busy enjoying the nature's beauty and bathing forever(!), I was waiting, waiting and waiting to see the temples. My long wait came to an end when we visited the first temple.


While the local person has told us that we could cover 7 temples in the forest on foot, we were really running out of time! So we decided that we will see one temple and get back! So we went to this temple and came back. Many had said that the sand uncovers itself once a year for the pilgrims and pooja happens! Only later I discovered that people are in constant effort to dig the sand out of the temples. This is one such group who kept the temple premises free of sand!



I learnt that the temples have been built at a very low level and Cauvery while growing fatter, throws the sand onto the Thalakkad region. The wind plays its role to take the sand towards the living area and hence the whole of Thalakkad is filled with sand and sand and sand!

Ok! I had no intention to explain you people the (hi)story of Thalakkad.. But I hope you didn't mind reading it!

So, coming to the point, apart from the sadness of not visiting the other temples, I learnt that I am actually not an outdoorsy type! I am quite happy with my room, the bed assigned to me and my lappy!

Future trips, I have decided that I would take it provided I have the ONE person I want to roam with and not with a group! No Offense Meant! Just that it has become a revelation to me that I don't enjoy a crowd that much! I like to hang around with the one who is quite like me in many ways, for a shorter duration of time and living every moment of it together!

So I shall po st a happier post about my trip when I get a chance to go around the way I want to ;-)

Bore Bore and bore!

Life has never been so boring…damn boring as it is now. I am just running out of ideas and mind has become so idle. And as you know, an idle mind is devil’s workshop and I hate myself being a workshop for devil.

I have never written any stuff like this before. This is also another proof to the extent I am pissed off with stuff going around and in me!

I really want to do something that is exciting, rejuvenating, path breaking, creative. I am sure I can spice up the current life. But I just have no intention to!

The only thing I wanted to do now was to put these crap up on the blog and fret about it.

Relationships

"Hatred is love without facts. Can our minds be changed if we knew a few facts about the things we hate?"

I want to write about relationships today. How much value does a human being place on this thing called relationship! All of us want to be a part of one thing or the other. The sense of belongingness to a certain group, community and owning something or somebody... these I think are the reasons that we seek relationships.

Strangely for some of us relationship does not necessarily be with human beings... we also tend to make relationships with inanimate things. And we strive very hard to hold onto something and get the feeling of belongingness.

This stage of our life (for people of my age), usually is characterised by the establishment of family-especially the spouse. And not all of us have had good love relationships. It has always been a period of stress, sadness, pain and gloom.

While human beings are empowered to achieve things which never existed, love has been something that is still a mystery! Man finds it too difficult to understand it, possess it, and enjoy it. No matter what, a slip in love life makes a man feel deprived, powerless, incomplete, unhappy and lifeless! While lag in other relationships are made up for through perks, wealth, power or other things, love relationship leaves behind a deep scar which is irreversible, irrevocable, and irreplaceable. While these are the best part of love, they are also the sad part of it. Those who are able to conquer their love feel elated and the others are left with the scar as an accident.

While this has been something I get so upset about-the love failures-I attempt to understand what this love is all about. In a sense this can be extended to the concept of relationships as well. I see that every single thing that you and I do is for utmost selfishness – just and just for my (your) sake. It is just because I want to be happy, I want to be secure, I want to have support, I want to live, I want to be comforted, that I get into love and hence relationships. May be that is the reason ‘I’ get smashed when the person I love dump me! My hope, my dream, my sense of security, my wishes, everything that I have bestowed upon that ONE person, is destroyed in no time just because the ONE did not reciprocate.

Also, how difficult it becomes for each of us to accept the other person unconditionally, just as they are. Though at one level we all seek to belong to someone, there is internal discord which is difficult to set right and does not give the sense of belongingness. Establishing relationship is a challenge but more than that maintaining a relationship becomes yet more difficult.

I have read somewhere about spirituality where the different human forms are perceived as different manifestations of a Single Soul. So there in reality lives just one Being. A naive illustration to explain the point: While ‘I’ represent the exercise of will to experience Love, ‘you’ might represent the exercise of will to attain Success. All ‘forms’, work towards the goal of the Single being. This seems to be a comfortable Philosophy to follow for me: maintaining relationships become much easier when I see you as the manifestation of a different me!

It also gives me the ability to empathise with you. See it from your point of view. Stand in your shoes. Now I am holding onto Spirituality to support me!

Relationships: they define them all! What more to say?!

Love yourself!

It has been really a long time since I posted anything on the blog. Now, I make time to make blogging more regular.

Today's post is a bit interesting and close to my heart!

How happy do I become if I make or attempt to make someone else happy, someone else smile?!

Nothing else pleases me or delights me as much as making someone feel good about themselves. In this sense, I really appreciate my decision of shifting to a discipline where I have got to interact with people!

To further this expedition, towards a logical conclusion, I have decided that I would put all my ramblings about psychology in the blog. I intend to post learnings of psychological concepts in this blog. So any psychologist out there is going to visit my blog, kindly forgive the errors and correct my errands. My attempt is to assimilte my learnings and channelise my future efforts.

Hope I stick to this commitment.

Well to justify the headline of my post, Love yourself! is such a phrase which I love to share with people I know. It is when I started to love myself, that my outlook of the whole world changed.

I have learnt that when I start to love myself, I can easily empathise with anyone else. It is so important due to the following reasons. I know all my fallacies, dark secrets, positives, strengths, weakness, many unsaid, not-demonstrated, aspects of myself. When I develop the ability to love myself, inspite of all these minuses, nothing seems imperfect outside!

Everything looks lovelier, charming, better, in one way or the other. I am sure to find wrongs outside; but I have grown to see beyond those negatives, beyond appearances, more than what is explicit.

I bet it comes after a huge effort! Loving myself has empowered me to empathise with others easily. To get into the shoes of other person and view the situation from their point of view. It becomes much more easier to realise and accept that people are no all-perfect! It helps build relationships, keep them and appreciate them as well!

It helps me connect with other human being. While earlier it needed a lot of effort, the more I grew in touch with myself, the more natural it became to understand the other person.

I forgive myself when I wrong, so forgiving someone else is lot more easier!

I Love myself so that I can live love!

Happy! :)

Corruption exists! But, what do we do except complain?

Apart from the ramblings we make about corruption and all malpractices going on in our society and blaming the politicians for that, as citizens of India what plan have we devised to avoid corruption repeating itself in history? Do we have the courage to return our identity cards back to government expressing our distrust in the people taking up the power? Do we have the slightest intention of molding and dedicating one qualified politician per family? We choose one among the lot; the lot being filled with dirty-minded, -handed candidates! If we don’t like anyone in the nominees’ list, do we come back not-voting?

We always pour our words out when the election dates are out. From nowhere the media publicizes the corruption of all the politicians and their links with mafias. Where did we all go when these so called leaders were ruling us? How many of us have the patience to follow the frustrating formalities of the government offices and hold on to the conviction of not bribing? Why did we shut our mouths and pay the bribe? Why did not the media let out the corrupt practices into the light when these leaders are still on power? Why does it spring up in the light when these leaders have win-lose probability?

Frankly speaking none of us have the patience to fight the battle through every day practices; even if we have patience we are afraid of the political power these politicians have. Extensive hate words flowing across pages of newspapers about the ruling party and the opposition, blogs springing up during the election times are no near to the panacea.

It’s basically an inner discipline that every citizen of India needs to develop and pass onto his / her family members to curb malpractice from the society. May we have one or two convictions and hold on to it no matter how much it is tested by the times. Unless and until we develop such an inner courage, we cannot fight the battle against corruption. We will all be complaining and sulking over the pitiable state of Indian politics and let it penetrate deeper into our veins.

The land of culture seems to be deteriorating in its value system and everything is taken for granted. There is such a lack of commitment and integrity in today’s young people that they just do not care about their fellow beings. The so-called collectivist land of India is becoming very much individualistic in that even the family members become outsiders. It’s only I, Me and Myself that is ruling our minds. “Until the ditch touches my flat I do not mind!” – We have developed this tendency subconsciously. The only way to take our country forward is developing an inner discipline and integrity. Talk, preach and do what you would want others to do unto you! If the self fails to raise upto the cause, there won’t be a change! No more Gods will come as Saviours! We have got to be our own Saviours and mean what we say! Also, be an alert citizen in everyday life and question every injustice happening to us and our fellow beings. This is the only way to tell the politicians that we are monitoring them. Only this would ensure that they ought to perform their duties to hold onto their positions!

Be alert and awake, my fellow Indians! Stop complaining and rambling; ACT!